We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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