operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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