hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
