So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
