u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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