My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
