what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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