Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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