I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
