Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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