oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My nipple is on Facebook.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
