so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
