Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
