Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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