so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
