just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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