I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
What a dumb baby whore.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
