I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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