Sponge bath it is.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm just crazy horny about you
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
