Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
