You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
