We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
