no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
