Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
