i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Randomize
