do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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