Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
