White coat. Heels.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
