About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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