The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
