Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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