the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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