I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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