I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
And then he peed in my hair
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