I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
