he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
