I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
