My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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