If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
