Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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