we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The Olympian is in my bed
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
