there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
