So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just googled if crying burns calories
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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