Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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