it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
