Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
