A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
