I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
