But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
