Your tits are I can't wait for
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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