Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
