p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
